ahh… hair loss

I had been prepared to lose my hair, in fact it had started falling out only a couple days after chemo started, but then it really started. About two days before my second round of chemotherapy, I noticed that my scalp just hurt. Maybe hurt isn’t exactly the right word, but it felt like I had been wearing my hair in a tight ponytail and I had let it out. My scalp just ached.

 

When I met with my oncologist on the day of my second round of chemo, she asked if I had felt my hair release. That’s a good term for it. Yes! That’s what I was feeling. Two weeks is about when the hair seriously starts falling out.

 

My visit went well and I had a couple hours to kill before chemo was scheduled so my mom and I went to the Belk Boutique to look at hats. Just to get ready.

 

I bought a couple snug hats and then we went to the café to get a cup of tea and eat the snacks we brought with us. I tried on both of the hats and then I looked into one of them, for some unknown reason, and saw a ton of this dark hair that was about 3 inches long. I looked at it, and started to question whose hair it was, because it certainly didn’t look like my hair. So, I started to think that the hat had been on display previously on a mannequin with a wig and that’s where the hair was coming from.

 

Even as we walked to the food court, and I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling out large clumps of hair, I thought that surely there must have been a lot of fake hair in the wig because it was mixed in with my hair.

 

It sounds silly now, thinking about it, but I can’t believe how much denial I was in. I knew I was going to lose hair but when it actually started to happen, like seriously fall out, I didn’t believe it. I’m not going to lie… I had a little moment of freaking out, but got over it quickly. It’s just weird.

 

Over the course of the next 24 hours I just kept losing clumps and clumps of hair so on Saturday I went to get my hair shaved (ie. Buzzed with clippers set at #2). I felt like a cross between Sinead O’Connor and GI Jane and I felt prepared to fight. So I’m ready for battle.

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So now… I am majorly losing my little buzzed hair. I thought the tub was getting clogged with the longer hair, but these little hairs are seriously a drain clogger! I anticipate that I’ll probably be entirely bald within the next week. That’ll be a good thing because then I won’t have to worry about any more shedding.

 

Anyway… enough about hair. I’m feeling OK today. I was feeling less nausea & fatigue with this second round of chemo, until Monday afternoon. Then it all hit like a ton of bricks. Tuesday and Wednesday were really hard for me. I try to eat frequently but still ended up losing 3 pounds of the two days. I think my GI system is not liking the chemo because it was not happy having anything in it.

 

I don’t want to dwell on it. I’m feeling better today, just ate again, and am feeling a bit more clearheaded. Mom and I are going to get massages today around noon so that will be fantastic. I needed a letter from my doctor to let them know that massages are approved, and thankfully my doctor wants me to get massages and exercise and generally try to live a healthy life. It’s easier said than done, I haven’t done as much yoga as I had been, but I’m working on it.

 

Thanks for tuning in for this update. Only two more rounds of this current chemotherapy and then four rounds of the next chemotherapy. Then a month until surgery.

 

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5 thoughts on “ahh… hair loss”

  1. Remember while you are fighting here to put on the whole armor of God! (Eph. 6:10-18). You are beautiful just the way you are.💗

  2. Terrina when a 5 year old was just davastated when her hair started falling out. She was adamant in telling her doctor that she would not lose her hair because her granny never lost her hair with her cancer so she shouldn’t either. It took her quite some time to get over the hard reality that she did in fact lose all her hair however it grow back beautifully thicker and darker. She still has beautiful hair. Survived her lukemia and is survivor like her granny and many others. Saying all this to give you light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t give up. The struggle will end. Love and prayers for you. Aunt Betty Jean

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